Crossroads

this is a particular crossroads. other times each crisis has been met with a sense of constructive hope. sunshine and laughter. aspiration soaring on the promise of an endless future. physical strength translated into prowess and initiative.

the energies that powered my past solutions are not available. the paradigm that has shaped each renaissance has receded into an inoperable and distant arena. it is now only the history of myself.

now i am faced with totally new challenges. if only it were the simple choice of one direction over another. if only it were a matter of the "road not taken"...

instead, at the end of each road is a dead end. perhaps some key unlocks these barriers. perhaps not. this is the dilemma. This is not a typical crossroad. no xanadus and shangri-las. no clear-cut responses based on models of the past.

just myself, poised and listening, like the gigantic radio-telescopes sweeping the universe for a sign of intelligence to displace the apprehension of being totally alone....