Tuesday, January 10, 2006

Out Of Gas

i feel like i have run out of gas. there's nothing more discouraging than being on empty.

sometimes this dilemma becomes an opportunity as we undertake to do something besides complaining. i remember being on a college tour with my department chair who was a charismatic conductor (we called him "doc"), and running out of gas on a remote road under a bright starry texas sky...

we had performed that evening and left around midnight to head for the next town on the tour. as we ran out of gas, we coasted to a stop and were engulfed in the deep silence, the vast darkness, and the dazzling milky way that was so vivid you felt as though you could reach out and touch the stars...

some stayed with the car while doc and i started to walk to the next town to get some gas. we figured it was about five miles away. doc had been a special mentor to me, always encouraging me and introducimg me to books and artworks that profoundly shaped my ideas. as we walked we talked and formed a bond that would last for decades until he ultimately went to his calling...

i have often thought of the serendiptiy of that moment when running out of gas developed a lifelong commitment more important than all the schedules and timetables that structured most of my college years. a moment of disaster was transformed into a treasured experience that i continue to remember as a turning point, a filling up of the soul with the energy of a lifetime...

1 comment:

Jungmin said...

Running out of gas, that's what I exactly feel thesedays,,
feeling so empty and separated that I suddenly can't remember what I used to desire, sensing such a blakout spiritually...

wish you get over your hardship~!!
^0^